On what would have been our 7th wedding anniversary, 16 days after he passed away unexpectedly, I got my first tattoo. I chose one of my husband’s favorite affirmations, “I am responsible,” in his handwriting.
I used to give him a hard time about those affirmations. I used to brag that I didn’t need to write those words down–that I lived them every day–and I would complain about the self-help stuff he’d listen to over and over again. If he could see those words permanently etched on my arm today, I don’t know what he would think. But seeing his handwriting, his words, gives me peace. It feels like a part of him.
When I was in Paris a few weeks ago, I was in the throes of my angst about missing him and having to live the life we planned without him. I wrote this.
I am responsible means…
I will raise great children who will become amazing adults.
I will publish many novels.
I will be healthy.
I will actively seek happiness.
I will give back to the world, especially to my community.
I will love and be loved.
I will seek to always learn and better myself.
I know the world is just my interpretation of things.
I will make a cozy home for my family.
I will be kind to myself and others.