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Dealing with Negative Emotions

I feel like we are all searching for a magic bullet answer about to how to prevent feeling negative emotions. Or maybe this is a subconscious goal when we read self-help books, go to therapy, seek out advice from others, watch with wide eyes as others go through trials and tribulations and take notes in…

The Wimpy Texter*

Kenneth and I, circa March 2007, when we started dating. I discovered a secret. Shame dissipates when you throw the vile details of the things that torture you out into the open. Like a fish you’ve finally caught, floundering on the ground at the end of a line, gasping for air, its fate uncertain. Just…

The Re-Do

There has been some rumbling over Patton Oswalt’s recent engagement announcement. Patton lost his wife a few weeks before my husband died. The non-widows are appalled at how somebody who recently wrote about barely being able to take off his wedding ring could so quickly move on. The widows and widowers are appalled that those…

Restlessness

(Photo credit: My SIL, since I never seem to have any photos of myself!) When you are in the throes of a deep, gnarled grief that stabs and slices and shreds, a relentless grief that wants to disembowel, your life becomes consumed with the important job of trying to survive. Pain is your new toxic…

Traveling

The first day of every trip sucks, I reminded the kids, and ultimately myself. They whined, their eyes half-shut as they threatened to melt into a puddle of limbs onto the dirty ground. I tried not to get too mad at them. I’ve traveled with adults who have been whinier, and they are, after all,…

A Letter to the Young Women

I debated whether or not to share this with the masses. It’s a letter I gave to the founding members of the club of which I am the advisor. After several days of contemplation, and since I’ve already given it to my girls, I thought I might go ahead and take the risk and share…

The Expiration Date for Grief

A major question that has been swirling in my head for the past year has been: when will I stop feeling this way? “This” being the ticking time bomb of loneliness, sadness, rejection, worthlessness, hopelessness, self-loathing, sometimes dotted with sleeplessness, loss of appetite, and loss of interest in the things once enjoyed. Who knew the…