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The Waiting

The waiting is the hardest part Every day you see one more card You take it on faith, you take it to the heart The waiting is the hardest part -Tom Petty Last Wednesday was my late husband’s birthday. I woke up at 3AM fully alert, my body aware before my brain was cognizant of…

Spectacularly Ordinary

A few weeks ago, I found out that a neighbor from my childhood street (where my parents have lived for the past 40+ years) was found dead. Not just dead. Unrecognizably dead. Melted-into-the-carpet-dead. As in, nobody-knew-he-was-dead-for-a-week kind of dead. He was 76-years-old. Six years older than my dad. I did the math and texted my…

Handling Uncertainty

I wish someone had told me in kindergarten that the key to handling life is found in how we react to uncertainty. How we handle our anxiety about an unknown future. It would have also been helpful if they taught us that there is no such thing as happily-ever-after, uncertainty will never stop happening, and…

Starting Over

I was 11 weeks into seeing this guy who I really, really liked. I loved his kids. Our kids loved each other. My kids liked him. We had fun together. It was the first time I liked someone enough to start fading them into the melting pot of my domestic life, and while it was…

The Recital of Life

It was my oldest child’s first piano recital and I had front row seats next to my mom. I didn’t invite my father or sister or sister-in-law or anybody. He just started playing five months ago– how could this turn out? Maybe for the next recital. Or the one after. You know, the one where…

Me and My Expectations

The last time I was in Spain was with my boyfriend (the man who would later become my husband). We stayed in Barcelona because he liked the 1994 movie. Somehow we got a hotel in the seedy part of Las Ramblas, where cheap souvenirs were hawked at every turn and our most (un)memorable meal was…