Hi, I’m Teresa.
(me, circa 1985)
Also found on Facebook and Twitter.
Who I am:
Storyteller, fledgling existentialist, feminist, Pain Curator.
Grief hijacked my life when my husband unexpectedly passed away in April 2016 and left me a 30-something widow with three young children.
It is not something I want to be ultimately known for. I’d rather you remember that I’m a person who doesn’t give up, and that I’m on a mission to live well.
Vegas, November 2015.
I have three children, ages 7, 4, and 2. My husband and I planned each one of them down to the day. Needless to say, becoming a single mother wasn’t in the plans. I’m learning to adjust to the tediousness of doing all of this on my own.
I started this blog a few years before my husband died, and before becoming a widow, I wrote this in my profile: Motherhood is my most important job, but it isn’t my only purpose and it doesn’t entirely define me. I fight to be my own person and to resist the societal label of MOM that is automatically attached to a woman who has a family. We are more than that. We have careers, hobbies, ambition. A man doesn’t sacrifice his identity as an accountant or lawyer or golfer or painter or whatever. Why do we pigeonhole women into one slot as “a mom”?
Our first family picture as a party of 4. The teddy bears were made with my husband’s clothes.
Now as a widow, I can attest to the importance of my long-held feminist beliefs. I know it might sound strange to focus on feminism in the experience of losing your husband, but if I didn’t know who I was as a woman, if I only knew myself as a wife and a mother, I would be in much worse shape right now. I would be completely lost. Independence is a woman’s greatest power.
Montmartre, Paris 2014, with #1 and #2
Freiburg, Germany. June 2016.
Last family trip. Playa del Carmen, February 2016
Legoland, April 2016. A few weeks before Kenneth died.
I write about grief a lot. It’s my reality. It doesn’t go away, it just becomes easier to manage. Sort of. Usually.
Germany 2016, first trip without Kenneth.
Kyoto, Japan. January 2017
The Japanese saying “shikata ga nai.” 仕方が無い means “it can’t be helped.” I try to live my life with that resilience. It’s hard. Life is hard. But I think it’s supposed to be that way. Do you ever think about how amazing it is just to be alive?