Two years ago tomorrow (3/2) my little (big) Peter Jack was born.
10 lbs. 3 oz and no drugs (I had all 3 with no drugs!). Pain during childbirth is actually a very normal, productive kind of pain that we are taught to fear like all other kinds of pain.
As you can imagine, a 10 lber was in fact, super painful. It seems I have a very, very high threshold for pain, mentally and physically. At the conclusion of childbirth pain, you get this cute little squishy baby that makes you quickly forget the agony. In other kinds of pain, the reward may not seem quite as clear–at least not immediately. Pain is the yin to joy’s yang, and ultimately, you need both. They work together.
It has been a painful year. Next month will be one year since Kenneth passed away. Kenneth never got to hear Peter Jack talk. He never knew that Peter is the jokester in the family. Peter kisses his dad’s picture every night before he goes to sleep. He says hello to his pictures and smiles and laughs as if this is the most normal thing in the world. It is horribly unfair for everyone involved, but ultimately Peter has life because of Kenneth, and that is an amazing gift.
“For a star to be born,
There is one thing that
Must happen: a gaseous
Nebula must collapse.
So collapse.
Crumble.
This is not your
Destruction.
This is your birth.”
–Noor Tagouri
Teresa Shimogawa 