About Me

Contact: shimogawa.t@gmail.com

Teresa Shimogawa is a storyteller and human being trying to do good things in the world. Grief hijacked her life in 2016 when her husband unexpectedly passed away and left her a young widow. Join the existential ponderings about the trials and tribulations of being human.

Opinions are her own. 

Check out her essays. Also here. 

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41 Comments

  1. Read your article on the death of your husband and was so touched, impressed, moved.
    Having lost my mother at age 7 I understand your pain from a different view. I watched my father stagger and falter and then send us to relatives. With nothing of my mothers, nothing to hold on to.
    You are doing it right. Guiding your children to understand they have a choice-finding the good, the lesson, the strength -these and your love will lift them up when you can’t. Thank you

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment. I love to hear the child’s perspective. I constantly wonder what my children are really thinking. Whenever I feel sorry for myself, I realize this is worse for them. I still have my parents. I will never fully understand what this means to them.

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  2. Beautiful, brave article on Tiny Buddha. It touched me very much and I’m sure will have a similar effect on all kinds of people. Keep being you, you sound pretty amazing.

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  3. I came across your blog after reading the article in Tiny Buddha and read every bit of it. You are just brilliant. It is amazing how you decide to go on and it inspires me. I like your perspective. 4 months after my mother’s sudden death, I am nowhere like that, even though I’m your age with three young kids and a husband who’s still alive. I will keep coming back.

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  4. Dear Teresa,
    I also came across your article
    on Tiny Buddha. I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your husband. I will continue to read your beautiful writing and wise words of wisdom. There is a blog I follow it’s called Second Firsts by Christina Rasmussen. Her writing also speaks to the soul of those who are suffering through the loss of loved ones.
    Thank you again.

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  5. Hi Teresa,
    I lost my father less than a month ago. though I know in my heart that he’ll want me to move on and make him proud I am not able to control the tears when I remember the amount of hard work he put in so that I could have a good life. I didn’t get a chance to pay my gratitude the way I wanted and I feel it’s not fair to him and me. I know if I catch on to this “I have to make him proud” feeling I will achieve things in life but I doubt if I will ever be happy again for I was happy not when I achieved things but when I shared the news with him and watched him happy.
    Also thanks for your wonderful piece on tiny buddha. I read a number of self-help articles but this is the one that I come back to again and again to get myself back on track.

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    1. It’s a work in progress, let me tell you. I vacillate between feeling ready to conquer the world to garbage can (currently in the sludge right now). I also think of the regrets. But…knowing that none of the negative will amount to anything positive while I’m alive, I try to push forward the best I can while making space for the hurt in small doses.

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  7. Just read your article on tinybuddha and loved it. Much love to you and your family!! Keep sharing your story, as it inspires others xoxo

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  8. Dear Teresa, Just finished reading your article on Tiny Buddha and I am in tears. So sorry what your children and you had go through. But I am also in tears with emotions of admiration for your wisdom…Much Love, Sabiha

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  9. Hi Teresa, I sit here with tears in my eyes since finding your page after getting your Betrayal of Expectations article from Tiny Buddha. I can’t imagine what you have had to go through these last 2 years, but I want to thank you for your exemplary ability to persevere. The last few months have been very challenging for me but reading your page has helped me remember to keep it in perspective; My family & I are healthy, & I have a roof over my head. Keep fighting the good fight & I will be visiting again for sure! 🙂

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  10. I found your story on Tiny Buddha, it’s so raw and real and it’s refreshing to see. The way you share your true feelings of resilience and your flexible expectations are truly inspiring. Thank you for not giving me a sugar coated, social media curated version of your experiences. If we were all more honest about our pain we wouldn’t feel so alone in it. You have true courage to get “in the ring” as Brene Brown would put it.

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  11. I just read your essay on dating again. I’m 20 years older than you but feel the exact same way. I have a college aged daughter and lost my husband to pancreatic cancer. It’s never easy…either way. And you have three young ones who depend on you! I have my first “date” tomorrow and I’m petrified. I’m so glad I found your blog! Thank you!

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  12. Today I was in tears all day. I also kept crying while reading your beautiful essay. Today I have found out that my husband betrayed our ideal expectations and ruined our ideal life. He made very bad movements in the past which he didn’t share with me, as the result many people suffered financially including our own family. I am in pain emotional and physical, as I am due in 2 months and I really don’t know how to handle all of that. We need to sell house now, as he owns hundreds of thousands of dollars to other people, he doesn’t make enough and we are about to have a second baby.. i should not have written all of that. .. but I am so scared, so depressed and lost. When I read your story, I cried because I thought for a second that what if I lost him, what if the things that changed our financial situation are not that harsh..I really don’t know if I should be crying now but im glad I came across your story, Teresa. Thank you for sharing. God bless you and your family!

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    1. Hi Audrey, I’m so sorry to hear about your pain. It just sucks when our lives don’t go as planned for whatever reason. I wish you a safe rest of your pregnancy and hope things get resolved as soon as possible. No storm lasts forever.

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  13. Teresa, I am so glad to have found your site. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with the world. I can relate to a lot of your story from two perspectives. My brother and I were raised by an “only parent” after my Dad passed away at 33. My Mom is the best.
    Believe me, I am certain your kids will look back and be extremely proud of everything you did for them.

    And now, six weeks ago my wife passed away suddenly at 48. Thankfully, my Mom is still with me to serve as my role model and guide. I understand every situation is unique and we all cope differently. That said, you are inspirational and help remind me that I too will weather this storm.

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    1. Hi Chuck, thank you for your kind words. So sorry about your wife. It’s terrible to have other members in this crappy club, but just know you aren’t alone. Take care of yourself.

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  14. Thank you for this website! I found your work about rewriting your narrative on Tiny Buddha and your story is so inspiring. I will most certainly be circling back frequently as this is a testament to the fact that life does not go as we planned, but is beautiful none the less!

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  15. Thank you. Your article on Tiny Buddha is one of the best I’ve ever read, and I read hours a day! I can’t imagine the pain from losing a spouse. How you picked yourself up and imposed your own will on life, rather than letting it dictate its terms for your life, is beyond inspiring. I’m literally a big ol’ 6’3” 220lb Texan sitting in my recliner with tears rolling down my cheeks after reading your article seriously 5 times. I’m trying to overcome obstacles (depression) and rewrite my life narrative, with hope for a bright future that I can create. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your story. Sincerely, Brad in Dallas

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  16. Hello! Thank you for your words. I was widowed in 2002. My kids were 3 and 6 at the time their dad suddenly died. One of your articles about disappointment and expectations felt so real..took me back in time. There is a sadness and emptiness no one and nothing makes better. Then one day, the world becomes colorful again. It’s a long process, but, healing takes time. Thank you, again. Although losing my husband was the single hardest sadness that I have lived through, I am now stronger.
    Take care! Yvonne

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  18. Hi Theresa,I’ve read last night your article “ you can’t shape your life “ where to share your story about your loss, the grief and the stories we tell ourselves.
    Your refection, profound awareness Gave me strength at this right moment- when I most needed.
    Thank you for sharing and inspiring other people’s life .

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  20. Omfg. I am a 55 year old female just split from my wife who has traded me in for a younger woman. Whilst I can no way compare to your grief the feelings of loss are the same as we battle through an uncertain future. Thank you so much for your awesome article and much love and strength for the future xxxx

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  21. Hi Teresa, I deleted my fb so I decided to leave a comment on here.
    I was thinking back on how much Kenneth touched my life. His notes, his quirks, his enthusiasm for life… I took everything he said to heart. I made his mantra my mantra while I was in college, and I’m so glad I did. He helped me see the world so much more clearly; his words helped me live my life a little fuller.

    He really left such a legacy here on Earth. It is such a blessing to have known him.
    Thank you for helping me connect with him through your writing. Kenneth is the coolest ever & I’m glad he connected me to you afterwards too!

    Your kids are so lucky that you honor his memory like this. I remember how much I loved it when he talked about his family because there was so much love within him. Ellieeee he was totally whipped for you!!! He’s definitely there for all of them to navigate the matrix. ❤ that makes me happy.

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  22. I just read your story on gratitude and being in the now on Tiny Buddha and wanted to thank you for sharing your wisdom, life lessons, and gifts. It was so centering and full of reminders to take each day and make the best of it. Thank you.

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  23. Just read your wonderful article on Vox about Teddy. Such a wonderful story about the ways our pets enrich our lives. Thank you so much for writing it. I’m really glad he found your family.

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